|
 Architectural building zen in Saigon | Photo by Lauren Girardin Still your thoughts. Clear your mind of everything. Don't worry about where you will eat dinner tonight. Don't concern yourself with whether the massage you were just offered will be the creepy type you get in a parlor or the relaxing type you get in a spa.
Put your full faith in humanity, the rawest of humanity, an inexorable, infinite stream of which is speeding towards you on mopeds and motorcycles down the Saigon streets. Believe that these thousands of people no more want to run you over than you want to be run over. They will flow around you, like raging river water around a rock.
Accept them as they are. Reconceptualize perceived flaws as uniqueness. Four people squeezed onto one moto? Eco-friendly ride share. A twelve year old kid behind the handlebars who is text messaging while steering? Child prodigy. A wobbly rack of flattened, translucent dried squid bolted to the moto's back seat? Caterer. A king size mattress strapped to the back of a tiny cycle? Airbag.
(Faithful email and RSS readers, visit www.ephemerratic.com to read on, get travel tips, and check out photos)
 Surreal toothpaste billboard, Saigon | Photo by Lauren Girardin All is not what it seems. Beware illusions and the false security they harbor. A red light may have no different a meaning than one that's green, which may itself carry no significance at all. Helmets may not be indicators of safety: beware the driver that does not clip his chin strap.
Trust your senses. Listen for the guttural howl of revving motors. Look for motos driving on the wrong side of the road, particularly if they are in the process of making a left turn. Smell the fumes clouded around a pack of motos that's been idling too long, impatiently waiting to bound forward.
Be decisive, steady, and intentional. Once you begin to walk across the street, do not hesitate, make no sudden moves, and for god's sake, do not stop. That rock I mentioned before? It's more of a rolling stone.
If you plan to walk around a roundabout . . . well, best to avoid the roundabouts.
Travel Tips – Ho Chi Minh City a.k.a. Saigon, Vietnam
Where we ate:
 Sassy meat market ladies, Saigon | Photo by Lauren Girardin
- Pho 24 - Though conveniently located near our hotel, their pho ga(essentially chicken noodle soup) was all chicken skin, and after a few minutes was topped with a layer of schmaltz a centimeter thick: NAH
- Fanny Ice Cream - Ice cream melts really quickly in Saigon's muggy heat, which is no problem at Fanny's, where their ice cream is so nicely done (if lightly flavored) you will eat it before it melts. Try their unusual flavors like salt caramel, young rice, and ginger: YEH
- Quan An Ngon, 138 Đ Nam Ky Khoi Nghia between Đ Han Thuyen and Đ Nguyen Diu - Oh Lonely Planet, why don't you check your maps more carefully? The LP 2007 Dong Khoi Area map is off by a full block on the restaurant's location (it's correct on the walking tour map), and the restaurant is hard to find anyway. So, take a cab there and walk back. We thought the Saigon Quan An Ngon was much better than the one in Hanoi. Everything we had was outstanding, from the grilled shrimp paste on sugar cane to the snails in coconut milk: YEH!
- Ben Thanh Market food stalls - Inside this sprawling indoor market (see "What we saw" below), there's several dozen stalls for street-style food. Though street food is probably in a cleaner environment (more than a few small roaches were spotted, though never in, on, or near the food), this is a fascinating place to point at mystery foods and eat. Look out for bun with grilled shrimp and rice dumplings that look like little white ravioli: YEH
- Gato Paris - Near the Notre Dame Cathedral, drinks are twice the price they should be and the service is nonexistent: NAH
- Com Tam Moc, 85 Ly Tu Trong, HCMC - A very local restaurant. Clean and bright, this place serves almost nothing but simple and satisfying "broken rice" dishes, steamed rice made from pieces that are literally broken, served with a variety of toppings, like fried fish, Vietnamese sausage, as well as nuoc mam (a fish sauce, sugar, chili sauce) and a little bit of pickled vegetables: YEH
Where we stayed:
- Phan Lan - Not the nicest hotel we stayed at in Vietnam and really nothing special, but it was clean, and relatively quiet, being on an alley behind the crazy main street of the Pham Ngu Lao neighborhood. You can bargain a little bit if you book in person: YEH
What we saw:
 Balloon vendors on bikes, Saigon | Photo by Lauren Girardin
- Sinhbalo Tours Office - This is one of the higher end tour companies, but worth the money. If you want the best deal on your tour price, you will need to be a bit flexible about which tour you take as the price per person drops when you have more people on the tour. Their tours max out at 6 or 7 people, so you get personal attention: YEH
- Mariamman Hindu Temple - Wow, was this place a trip. Though by name it is a Hindu temple, there's some Buddhism and Christianity mixed in. But what made it really memorable were the incredibly pushy, obnoxious incense touts who basically shove smoking incense in your hand and drag you in a circumambulation of the temple before pulling you out of the temple and screaming "Money!! Money!! Money!!!" at you. So, approach with your hands in your pockets and it's a: EH
- War Remnants Museum - Well. In case you weren't convinced that the Vietnam War (called "The American War" by the Vietnamese) was a complete atrocity, a walk through the photo exhibit of people terribly deformed by Agent Orange will convince you – especially when later in the day you see someone with a head the size of a 27" TV being carted by wheelbarrow through Saigon's streets. If it's a hot day, be warned there is no air con and inside the exhibit rooms is hotter than outside. You need to go: YEH
- Main Post Office - Can't see why this is a tourist attraction for anyone who isn't an architecture dork. Even then, it's probably not that interesting: MEH
- Me Linh Square - Along the Saigon River, it's not much of a draw unless you're looking for a nice stroll. And even then: MEH
- Sinh Cafe - You will never know for certain if you are at the real Sinh Cafe anywhere in Vietnam, rumor disagreed with the books which disagreed with the internet. As far as we could tell though, there is no reason to book in bulk, so skip any "open ticket that takes you more than one stop ahead. Just book as you need: YEH
Photos from Saigon a.k.a. Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
If you can't see the photo slide show above, view the photo set on Flickr.
|
Dispatches 
Click here